Happy cats make for happy homes

 
adolescence Alabama beliefs blogging calm change Chicago crisis crushes dreams family fear flint hills food friends happiness health being a hippie holiday home internship kids loss love magic memories money music parties perfection plants projects relationships relaxation reminiscing ritual school social work issues spirits sports stress style the South violence weather weather worries writing

CURRENT MOON

 

Go now. Go.


There’s something about Sunday night
that really makes you want to kill yourself
Subscribe to this blog
for e-mail updates
 

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Denial

This evening, I had an insane craving for some sort of dessert. I generally only crave sweets when I have PMS. I don't believe in making that week any harder than it already is, so I always indulge whatever. I am anti-denial in a serious way.

While, say, I know I'd regret it hugely afterwards if I ate an entire carton of chocolate ice cream, I also know that I tend to only want one bowl, and I think it would be ridiculous to not give myself one bowl when it is tremendously satisfying and delicious.

But I've also always been able to eat whatever I wanted. I was blessed with good genes and an even better metabolism. And then I turned 27. Was it the age? Was it starting a new birth control? Was it that falling in love triggered some hormone that helped add twenty pounds? Suddenly--not suddenly. I've been unhappy with it for a while.--I hate the roll of fat that covers my previously flat stomach. (I'll admit it. I was vain about my flat stomach that I had through no talent or effort of my own.)

I guess it helps that Tim is only more appreciative the more I turn into a woman instead of the poky, boney girl he met. He recently admitted he had thought I was too skinny at first.

But still. This means if I am unhappy with it, I better do something about it.

Tonight when I considered getting a blended Coke float at Sonic, I thought about its deliciousness in my mouth, and then I thought, "I haven't gone walking in the park in a few days. I'll do that, then if I still want one, I'll go." I was tricking myself. What? I secretly remembered that exercise usually curbs any junk food/sugar craving.

It's weird. I don't want one anymore; I knew I wouldn't. But I'm not sure who this person is that decided to exercise instead getting Sonic. I hope this continues. I signed up for a tennis clinic at the gym Tim started teaching Pilates. And they have a pool!

2 Comments:

Blogger Megan said...

I do that too, only as a reward. "I can have that if I go to the gym tonight." Then if I go, I have usually let the craving pass. Five minutes will kill a dumb craving. I figure if it's an all-day cloying craving? I'd better have it.

2:30 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

27 was my magical (unmagical?) age where the weight started to stay. I used to laugh when I was younger and could eat so much junk and not gain an ounce, and my mother would say, "just wait, your metabolism will slow down". She wasn't kidding.
You're a good girl. I probably would have driven my pudgy ass to Sonic and had the float.

4:21 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

 
This page is powered by Blogger.
Get awesome blog templates like this one from BlogSkins.com