Happy cats make for happy homes

adolescence Alabama beliefs blogging calm change Chicago crisis crushes dreams family fear flint hills food friends happiness health being a hippie holiday home internship kids loss love magic memories money music parties perfection plants projects relationships relaxation reminiscing ritual school social work issues spirits sports stress style the South violence weather weather worries writing



Go now. Go.

There’s something about Sunday night
that really makes you want to kill yourself
Subscribe to this blog
for e-mail updates

Monday, April 18, 2005

Being alone

A few years ago, I discovered how much I enjoy my own company, and started relishing my time alone. If I wanted to go to a restaurant, I'd go. If I was bored at home, I'd take my book to a coffeeshop. Shopping, biking, sightseeing, I did it. It was something I had to push myself into, because at first, I just wanted to assert my independence, and remind myself that I could do it, but after a while, it became a habit. The only thing I never mastered was sitting at a bar alone, but after a failed attempt at smoking (for something to do with the hands), I decided it didn't really matter, and I was still an independent woman even without a regular attachment to a neighborhood bar.

It must be the culture of cities, though. Here, being alone just means being lonely. The wait staff wouldn't know what to do if I brought a book into a restaurant and ate by myself. Everything revolves around doing things with other people.

But Saturday night, after I went rollerblading in the park, I felt like doing something. I started driving out to Sonic for a blended Coke float, but then I decided to go to a movie instead. I hadn't planned on it, so I didn't know what was showing, but I was in time for Fever Pitch, which, well, I had nothing against. So I got some stale popcorn and a Coke slush, and settled in for the movie.

It was lovely. It made me feel so good about myself that I was able to entertain myself on a Saturday night, instead of sitting at home watching videos or being online. Being here has made me doubt myself so much. I didn't even think I was the same person who lived in Chicago half a year ago. But this little thing made me feel like I was back.


Blogger tish said...

I'm glad you got to have that time. I love being alone too.

9:46 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

I, too, love being alone. I do most of my day-to-day things by myself and sometimes feel weird if I'm expected/asked to do something with a friend (shop, go to a movie, go to the bookstore).

I only have a couple bars that I can go to by myself. It seems to be a flashing neon sign to guys -- this girl is lonely! Buy her a drink! Sit next to her and talk her ear off! -- and I hate that.

7:45 AM  
Blogger berriewine said...

I must shop alone.

8:19 PM  
Blogger Skeezix said...

I love going to the movies alone.

I think I'll have to do it this weekend.

I'm so glad that you decided to take that time for yourself LE.

11:06 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger.
Get awesome blog templates like this one from BlogSkins.com