Upon returning
I think a dangerous thing about returning to Chicago is that I have built it up quite a bit in my head, and I have ideas about what it (and I) will be like. The things I imagine about myself are who I've always wanted to be but am never sure I really am.
As though suddenly I'll be more active and go back to being the slim person I was several years ago, or stop being as cluttered in my living space as we are now. I'll be focused and intelligent and insightful in my school work, and I will quickly make like-minded friends in my classes.
Who I really am is not necessarily a disappointment; I just want to be better. Cooler, smarter, livelier. More.
No longer a rough draft.
As though suddenly I'll be more active and go back to being the slim person I was several years ago, or stop being as cluttered in my living space as we are now. I'll be focused and intelligent and insightful in my school work, and I will quickly make like-minded friends in my classes.
Who I really am is not necessarily a disappointment; I just want to be better. Cooler, smarter, livelier. More.
No longer a rough draft.
2 Comments:
sometimes I catch myself thinking that I'm practicing for my Real Life, where my hair and ass are small, and I never say uncool things and can afford to live alone in a nice apartment. Then I realize that this is all there is, so it must be embraced flaws and all. You are perfect the way you are.
You'll definitely be cooler when I come visit. ;) Not slimmer, however.
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