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Friday, June 24, 2005

Vocation

I was discussing my work history with my psychologist this week. She was surprised to learn in my former career, I was an editor, because it's such a vast departure from social work. But in her reaction, and some of her comments, I felt like she thought I was much more suited to editing than social work. That bothered me.

She asked if my job right now was a vocation or a job. I think that's a pretty stupid question. I'm not sure why anyone would work in domestic violence for the paycheck.

So it is a vocation. I didn't need to explain to her what sheer joy it brings me, being able to give a woman help and safety, and hope. She understands. It's probably part of what she loves about her job.

But what if I am thoroughly unsuitable for the work? What if it turns out I really really suck at my vocation? Is it possible to suck at your vocation?

If that's true, am I deluding myself? Should I go back to editing, because order and definite right and wrong (I know that comma goes here; I know this should be capitalized.) makes me happy? Sitting at a desk for more than an hour reading boring articles made me homicidal. No matter how many mistakes I was able to find.

In the end, I think my psychologist just can't figure me out, and she's nonplussed, because she usually can pigeon-hole people pretty quickly. She said she sees me working one job and volunteering at a wildly different one. Big fat duh. But I think her impression of my different interests is that I haven't settled on a particular path in life, and that's the part that mostly bothers me.

I see my future as wide open because I don't limit myself. (I even have Librarian on the back burner for a mid-life career.) And I don't see that as a bad thing.

1 Comments:

Blogger Jennifer Jones said...

I think 99% of what makes you good at something is having love for it. People talk about 'skill' but what is that, really? Education? Experience?? You seek those things out because you've got the love.

And who says you have to be one thing? People limit themselves too much.

3:23 PM  

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