Evidently, I glow

What is it about love that softens the way you look at someone? Tim sees in me some sort of inner light that he attributes to characteristics I never knew I had. Are those characteristics really me, or projections from him because he's all starry-eyed? I see and love parts of him that he doesn't believe, either, but I still think they're real aspects about him, so maybe he's seeing real parts of me, too.

It's just so hard to accept sometimes. If he thinks I am all fantastic and amazing, if that's actually true, then why don't people flock to me to bask in my glow? That's why I have a hard time believing all the good things he thinks about me--because I have such a hard time making friends. It's such a sucky Catch-22. I know I have to believe all these good things about myself before others will, but it's hard to believe when I don't have friends (on a daily basis, here where I live) showing me that they believe them, too.

It seems so wrong that the person I adore and respect most in the world is the one person I don't believe when it comes to myself.