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Thursday, March 24, 2005

Evidently, I glow

What is it about love that softens the way you look at someone? Tim sees in me some sort of inner light that he attributes to characteristics I never knew I had. Are those characteristics really me, or projections from him because he's all starry-eyed? I see and love parts of him that he doesn't believe, either, but I still think they're real aspects about him, so maybe he's seeing real parts of me, too.

It's just so hard to accept sometimes. If he thinks I am all fantastic and amazing, if that's actually true, then why don't people flock to me to bask in my glow? That's why I have a hard time believing all the good things he thinks about me--because I have such a hard time making friends. It's such a sucky Catch-22. I know I have to believe all these good things about myself before others will, but it's hard to believe when I don't have friends (on a daily basis, here where I live) showing me that they believe them, too.

It seems so wrong that the person I adore and respect most in the world is the one person I don't believe when it comes to myself.

2 Comments:

Blogger metrogeekboy said...

I think you glow and I'll have to do is read your words. You highly underestimate yourself. Love is not blind but sees the best and the potential for better more of j's retard thought on love

4:24 PM  
Blogger Megan said...

I wish I lived in your town. I love being around you.

5:12 PM  

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