It's like I'm dating again
About four years ago, bored at work, I decided to spend my days dating online. In some ways, it was perfect for me, because I'm a sucker for a well-turned phrase, and I'm an e-mail addict. I had plenty of time (between proofreading the odd journal or laying out another) to craft perfectly worded messages, and read the responses. It made my stomach jump with excitement every time I saw a new e-mail in the In box. Oh, the potential!
And now I'm acting the same way, only it's about friends. Old friends reuniting again. I expect not everyone was able to have a lazy Saturday afternoon like mine, yet I still got online every half an hour or so to see if anyone had responded to the various e-mails that are shooting about, or posting new entries to our communal blog.
I couldn't sleep that night, my mind was so busy turning over blog post ideas, ways to redesign the blog to make it absolutely our own, what it will be like to see everyone again (some of whom I haven't seen in at least ten years).
And with that, also came some insecurity, which I think--I hope--is only natural.
I don't even remember who I was back then, or how I fit into the group. How does who I was then resemble who I am now? I have a very foggy memory of childhood, and high school.
Unlike the dating, where I just hoped I liked the guys as much in person as I did online, now I hope they like me. I worry that they won't. And I wonder how we've all changed, and how that will affect the dynamic of friendship.
But mostly, it feels so. good. to be back in touch with everyone, and I am so excited.
And now I'm acting the same way, only it's about friends. Old friends reuniting again. I expect not everyone was able to have a lazy Saturday afternoon like mine, yet I still got online every half an hour or so to see if anyone had responded to the various e-mails that are shooting about, or posting new entries to our communal blog.
I couldn't sleep that night, my mind was so busy turning over blog post ideas, ways to redesign the blog to make it absolutely our own, what it will be like to see everyone again (some of whom I haven't seen in at least ten years).
And with that, also came some insecurity, which I think--I hope--is only natural.
I don't even remember who I was back then, or how I fit into the group. How does who I was then resemble who I am now? I have a very foggy memory of childhood, and high school.
Unlike the dating, where I just hoped I liked the guys as much in person as I did online, now I hope they like me. I worry that they won't. And I wonder how we've all changed, and how that will affect the dynamic of friendship.
But mostly, it feels so. good. to be back in touch with everyone, and I am so excited.
posted by LE at 7:01 AM
3 Comments:
You make me laugh so much! I must have posted my entry at exactly the same time you did today. Because when I tried to post it bumped me and yours was up. I keep checking to see who has added what and what everyone is doing.
Me too! Only I am unsure if people are reading my blog. I sort of feel like I got in on the loop a little late, but there are some other peoples blog that I stayed tuned to like a 16 year old watching Real World.
I also plan to learn HTML which is an extended hobby of the whole Blog Phenomenon.
I love this -- I am doing the same thing! In fact, I am using blog-time as an incentive to get work done. I think, "Ok, if I grade these papers, I can get online!" I have to get out of the house to get any significant work done -- ha ha! And I feel those emotions, too -- regarding how we've all changed, how we fit or don't or whatever. Maybe we start the record again. Relearn our friendships with one another. Return to memory, but remember that we aren't those people anymore. And we go from there.
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